Qing Ming

I don't know the origins of Qing Ming - I am perhaps too ang moh pai to know. I am drafting this without internet access. So cannot google lor.

Qing Ming strikes me as a jolly good idea - a day for Chinese people to visit the tombs and urns of their loved ones who have passed on to the next world. It is a good time to remember these loved ones, and celebrate their lives, and to cherish our memories of them.

Qing Ming's on the 5th of April, which is a Wednesday this year. Therefore, the family decided to go to the cemeteries yesterday, on Sunday, when we're all not working.

Of course, we weren't the only Singaporean Chinese to plan on doing the Qing Ming thing on the Sunday before Qing Ming. We know that, and we kinda expect: traffic jams, people jams, and a PSI index that goes through the roof.

And there were indeed traffic jams, people jams, and a PSI index that goes through the roof. I also got roasted by the sun, and my leg hairs were nearly removed by overly-eager joss-paper bonfires.

Qing Ming at Lim Chu Kang cemetery was quite an experience. It was actually, believe it or not, my first time there. I went along this time because I wanted to visit Mummy.

I kinda forgot that Chinese festivals come with Chinese rituals. Or perhaps, more accurately, I forgot that Chinese festivals tend to be saturated with rituals and 'laws' - the necessary offerings, the number of fruits on each plate, the number of joss-sticks to the deceased and to the Earth Deity, the kinds of joss-paper, the use of confetti-ish paper to make flowers, etc.

So in a way, if one is not careful, Qing Ming might become something akin to Veblen's Machine Process, a mindless repetition of this, that and the other, in a strict order, at each and every tomb visited, to achieve a target aim or a certain output.

And instead of acknowledging the lives of our loved ones, there is a danger of paying more respect to the rituals than to the persons.

Of course, some will argue that the rituals themselves are the right manner to pay respect to the persons. I respect this perspective, but I will rebel if I have to accept it as my own.

I'm not against Chinese traditions and rituals. They have meaning for some, just as rites and rituals (whether these are seen as such) of other races and religions have their own validity, truth and reality.

I'm not against rituals either, for they can be comforting or serve some other purpose.

I indulge in quite a few rituals myself - the tapping of the wind-chimes on the main door before heading off from the house, switching on the music with my toes before stretching and getting out of bed, a deep breath through my comfort blanket before going into slumberland, picking out a matching cap before going to the pubs, grabbing a tight hug before parting with friends, a peek into MSN on a daily basis to see who's there, etc.

I love my rituals, and somehow, these little things make me feel more appreciative of life.

I will probably visit my mum again soon. But, on my own, on a quiet day, at a quiet time, and with my own little rituals.