Faking It

I might have mentioned this before, but heck, if I have, then I will just have to mention it again. Jonny and I were once on Channel 4's Faking It, but only for a couple of seconds. We had gone to Simon Happily's Comedy Camp at Bar Code, on the 23rd of November, 2004. One of the comedians was actually a scientist 'faking it'. He didn't quite get the audience laughing, with his jokes on neutrons, electrons and protons. Goodness, he should have realised that his audience was more likely to laugh at themselves, at Kylie, at Madonna, than anything vaguely connected to ... physics.

I have recently been told that I sometimes effect a fake accent, especially when talking to Jonny (and probably other ang mohs as well).

So, am I, on some leve, faking it as well? What does my change of accent / tone mean? Am I trying to be an ang moh by accent?

I have also been told that I'm a cosmopolitan masquerading as a heartlander, and a softspoken and quiet fella who noone expects to be quite so critical and even unforgiving and who isn't really supposed to distinguish between 'appreciating' and 'liking' or to dwell on the pedantic difference between 'responsiveness' and 'degree of responsiveness'?

Faking it suggests that I am trying to be someone I am not.

Faking it suggests that one can have a clearly defined identity, and that with his identit, there is a clear set of ideas and rules with regards to how I should and perhaps even must behave and perform. Feminists and postmodernists (ref Judith Butler) would probably tend to scoff at this second suggestion, at least because they recognise that eachand every one of us multiple identities or multifaceted identities. For example, a person is a woman. She is not just a woman however, and she may also be Muslim, a businessman, a mother, a daughter. She performs differently in different situations and contexts, and each of her identities or facets of her identity impacts upon her performance.

Faking it also suggests that I know whom I am, and whom I am not. Well, do I? I know that I am a person of doubt. I know that I doubt myself. I doubt that I know myself.

So. I don't really know myself, and therefore I don't really know whether I am trying to be someone I am not. I suspect that the feminists are right. That I have multiple identities, and a different and nuanced me manifests when interacting with different people and on different planes of existence.

Emily of Emerald Hill spoke differently to different people. Christine said that Emily is a conniving woman who behaves in ways to get her way.

But heck, how many Singaporeans do not change his / her tones and accents when speaking to different people?

So.. faking it? I don't think so.

P.S. One thing I know about myself. Receiving and opening Jonny packages always makes me grin. :)