人散庙门灯火尽,却寻残梦独多时

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Big Ben

Found this picture by Salarios on Flickr, it's absolutely fab!



More of his pix here.

Where am I going?



Where should I go?

Short-term Life Plans

Staying awake for 55 hours straight was surprisingly not that difficult. And I got to see lots of stars (35!!!) in the sky. And think about stuff that I might wanna do.

So, I have decided.

Will focus on personal development from 25 12 06 to 25 12 07.

Will consider picking up photography, oil painting, baking, cycling, music, etc.

There are some courses available at NAFA. Possibilities. But it looks like I'll miss the deadline for the January intake. And it does look a bit pricey. Would be so much cheaper to figure out by myself? :p

Maybe a diploma course, in psychology or tourism? PATH? But also quite expensive leh.

Definitely more reading. And writing. I so miss writing academia-lese. :p

Think about where to invest, and what to invest on, for both good consumption and investment returns.

Maybe get a good camera, a good desktop.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Mammon Inc. II

Some paragraphs that I like from H H Tan's Mammon Inc.:

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"... I feel like I don't fit in anywhere, like I can't connect. Like I'm a three-pin plug in a two-pin world. I want to feel loved by something bigger than myself, to not always feel so alone and abandoned."

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Mind the Gap.

The train left and I stared at the dark gap above the tracks.

Sometimes it feels like the East is one mountain, and the West another, and I'm falling in the valley between both, spiralling in the gap between both bodies. I'm trapped in limbo, in the black hole between Heaven and Hell.

Mind the Gap.

Another train pulled in. Who was I kidding? If I crossed the line, it wouldn't make that much difference. I was born in the gap and would always stay there. I had always felt as lost and disconnected as the voice that floated above me. In a way, drifting between here and there, I was the gap.

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I was about to defend myself when Steve turned his eys to me and said, 'You abuse us so much.' My sister has the same look in her eyes. That shut me up because I had never seen so much affection as I saw in those different eyes, love in blue and brown. I guess that was what true love was, someone who knew you in all your depravity, and still loved you in spite of it, and in a weird masochistic way, because of it. What other people might find disgusting or annoying about me, they found attractive in a joky anecdotal way. Though they complained about these things, deep down, they found them endearing, or they wouldn't have put up with me all these years.

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"I warned you last time, you read too many books, strain your brain, make you stupid. You think just because you read ang mo books, then people will think you're ang mo? What you do is not important. Only what you look like. You're like banana. Outside you're yellow, so when people see you, they only see yellow. Inside you can be really white, but people will still treat you like you're yellow."

Friends' Responses to "Passion; Dispassion"

Response 1: Get a partner!

Response 2: That's so zen!

Response 3: That's so Rafflesian ...

Response 4: Do you really feel that way?

Boot camp thoughts

Do I look like an exorcist? Why wake me up at 2 am to go to the loo? Even if really got ghosts, I'll just go 'Huh?' and go back to sleep lor. ZZZZ.

But I do have sweet blood, apparently. With me around, the mozzies won't touch you.

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I find it rather disturbing that someone's teaching Soka chants to others, and telling them to use it for personal gain, e.g. to get a girl to strip, to pass an exam, etc.

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Most people would consider it unfair if the majority is punished for the actions of a minority, esp if the minority go scot-free.

Then, surely, it's even more unfair if a minority is punished for the actions of the majority, esp if the majority go scot-free.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Mammon Inc.

Steve got his dick caught in the window. He blames me, of course. As if anything like that could be my fault. But I'll tell you what happened, and you can decide.

Okay ... What a start to this book by Tan Hwee Hwee ...

Will read it properly next week, no more space in my field pack.

But it actually looks quite good.

Hmm.

Okay, book swap. I'll read it this week instead. :p

Random posting on a Sunday morning

Waking up to the music of birds singing is kinda cool.

But waking up early on a Sunday morning because of a bird competition downstairs is quite another thing altogether! GRR.

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"Malaysia's Goal 2015" - Apparently, there are 376 Malaysian restaurants outside Malaysia. And the Malaysian government wants to raise the number to 8,000 by 2015. There will be cheap loans, tax breaks and help with promotion - all so that "Malaysia's name will be more renowned globally."

A cool idea.

Hopefully these new Malaysian restaurants will serve good and authentic Malaysian food.

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Singapore Ink seems to have die-ded. :(

From a Singapore Angle has moved.

Found a new-ish compilation of Singaporean blogs today though, and it's pretty good: The Intelligent Singaporean. Take a peek! :)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Passion; Dispassion

Over the past week, someone asked me: 'What are your passions?"

I thought about it. And realised that I don't really know. Or, more accurately, it may be more honest to admit to having nothing that I'm really passionate about. Nothing, I would say, that lies at the core of my being. Nothing that drives me forward. Nothing that I dream about. Nothing that I really want to happen. Nothing that I crave or absolutely need.

I struggled and said, "I don't really have any passions."

The someone said, "Hmm. So you're ... a happy-go-lucky person."

I eagerly nodded.

I guess I do appear to be happy-go-lucky, to be an 'Anything Goes' kinda person, at least to some people. And maybe I am.

Why then do I feel stagnant? Why then do I feel guilty about lacking passion?

Maybe, in part, it's the books I've been reading: a) The Kite Runner, on regret, and b) The Longest Journey, about Rickie Elliott, 'a sensitive and intelligent young man ... who giv(es) up his hopes and values for those of the conventional world, ... sinks into a world of petty conformity and bitter disappointments."

Perhaps, I'm passionate about dispassion, about a sense of balance, about being clinical, about being on both the one hand and the other hand, about being safe and not letting anything veer out of control because of passion. Which means I don't move 'forward' in any direction, and just stay in the safe, dispassionate, and soul-less centre?

Which means that I might just crave something: security.

*Ponders*

 
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