人散庙门灯火尽,却寻残梦独多时

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I think I should ...

... make some plans for 2007: what I hope to achieve next year.

Somehow, I feel that my life is stagnating.

Maybe it's because I'm presently now back where I was in Feb 2001.

But I suspect, it's mostly because I haven't grown much in the past year, and have instead become a bit numb, drifting around, trying to hold on to something, anything, nothing.

Let's see whether I come up with anything by next weekend.

Tataz. :)

____________________________________________

I don't really keep track of dates, and usually have no idea what the date this/that day is. Therefore, many a time, I may remember that someone's birthday is coming up, but may miss wishing the boy/ger 'happy birthday'.

Today, it was only upon departure from Clementi for Tekong that I realised that, hey, it's the 29th of Oct - my mum's birthday. The last time my mum and I celebrated her birthday together was in 2001, at the Oriental, I believe. Since then, well, I have been a bit mope-y each year on this day, and on 5th of April, when memories of sudden loss would surge back.

So perhaps, it's fortunate that I've only just realised the date, and that I'm surrounded by people at the moment while writing this out on paper. No opportunity to mope.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Weekend plans

Am off to the lovely resort island of P T in an hour or so.

And already looking forward to the weekend!

Ma La Guo, sans chilli on Saturday evening. Cough cough lar.

And then, will probably pop by a few places for Halloween. No special costume for myself, I'll just go as the geek I guess. :p

Sunday, another day for relaxation.

And then, P T again.

Bleah.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Quiet Monday

Today must be one of the most relaxing Mondays for a very long time.

Woke up late, had yummy Portuguese egg tart for breakfast. Went to bank, settled some administrative stuff. HAd chicken rice for lunch. Got supplies for boot camp. Read 'The United States of Europe'. Had a nice nap. Woke up, went to granny's. Had bak cho mee for dinner. Watched 'So you think you can dance'. And now, in front of this trusty old NEC laptop, typing away.

I thought of blogging about Singapore culture. Not many people go to boot camp twice, and I doubt that most of them do not have as contrasting experiences. This current one is proving to be a lesson on aspects of Singapore, Singaporean culture and Singaporeans. Aspects that I have known about but never quite observed firsthand. And also aspects of which I had no idea at all. An observation: Hokkien vulgarities tend to revolve around female body parts, but they seem to be more often used by those who crave proximity to females as well as female attention. If they want the 'cb' so much, why on earth is 'cb' deemed to be a vulgarity to be flung around as an insult?

Then I also realised something. I think I've been single for a year now. Not because I haven't met people that I like. Gosh, haha, I've met so many, and fortunately, a few who like me too, haha. But there hasn't really been the spark I guess, to really kickstart things. Maybe J was a one-off, no more for me? *shrug* It is precisely times like this, when I'm in this mad introspective and retrospective spin, that I kinda need someone's hand to hold, or maybe, haha, someone to sort me out.

Some day my prince will come
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know
Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true

Bouncey bounce?

Someone asked me whether I was a bouncer last night.

ME???

Scrawny little lad with no padding. Noone's ever going to bounce off me.

I challenged the someone.

'So, if one day, you get really drunk, and just collapse in the middle of the dance floor, amidst shattered glass and wildly trodding pseudo-dancers, you want to be left there alone?'

Idiot.

But, man, drunk people can be so heavy.

P.S. Attica is quite cool. Tho more than a bit pricey.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Cough cough sniffle sniffle

I think I've got the Tekong cough and the haze sniffles. Bleah.

Memories of Charlie company came back quite vividly while marching past. Everything still looks the same, though obviously the people are different, and also the paint seems to have faded quite a bit. The track needs some repair, and the rifles look a lot older. I guess, all this is kinda to be expected, wear and tear mah.

So, what to do over this long weekend?

I guess, the cough and sniffles preclude any clubbing.

Will go to Kam Boat later for dim sum.

And also to the library, need a fresh supply of books.

Other than that, nothing else planned.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Jitters

Just now, I was trying on my new No. 4s for the first time. This time, they're of the right size, and it's a lot easier to fold those sleeves.

Am feeling a bit jittery of late. Sortov on the rebound kinda feeling, though I've never really had a rebound and there's nothing to rebound from at this present moment.

A bit needy too.

Sometimes a bag of nerves.

I don't know whether it's some psychological thing: my essential tremors are back - my fingers are twitching; my hips hurt; my heels hurt big time; it's harder to breathe (this is prolly caused by the haze).

So if I look like I need a hug, well, actually, I do. Gimme one. :)

Or more than one.

Well, Tekong, I'm coming.

Let's hope it's gonna be a positive experience.

The E in L.I.V.E

;)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Kite

Today, for some reason, I feel like a kite. Not stuck in a tree, still flying, not really wanting to land.

But it seems like the string has snapped and I'm just flying aimlessly.

Today, for some reason, I feel like I need to be re-attached to some string or ribbon or a hand, that I need some grounding, someone I have the option to come home and come back to.

It's not going to happen any time soon, I think. haha. Maybe I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm too scared, and run away from the possibilities that I might crave. Or maybe it's just too difficult to find someone who really excites me, and whom I really feel comfy with. It has happened before, haha, maybe it only happens once in a life-time.

So for now, I'll drift, like I do in Tantric and Tabz, doing my own thing, having the amazing company of friends.

Maybe I'm the kite in Stef Sun's song.

Maybe I want to be reined in.

I don't really know.

Who does? :)

 
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