London

25th June to 1st July?

Decisions decisions decisions.

How?

To go or not to go?

To take leave or not to take leave.

Part of me wants to go.

Part of me wants to see elsewhere.

Part of me wants someone to come over.

ARGH.

Choices choices

I agree with city_walker (and LBD) that the blog is a useful place to store thoughts and capture moments of one's personal history.

If only the blog also existed in a form like Astinus's chronicles of the Dragonlance realms, and one can read everything about the past by going to his library.

One makes many choices in one's lifetime. Memory does not really serve us that well though, in recording why one makes particular choices, or whether there was a real choice in the matter, or the various options that one actually had (and perhaps failed to see).

It's not only the big choices (or pseudo-choices) that one makes that would be interesting to review. Small everyday choices, like what to eat on particular days (e.g. first dates, last meals with people, etc.), why one bought this shoe instead of the other, why one chose to drink so much and snog this person and the other, etc., can be similarly interesting, if not more so, for trivial amusing reasons.

I was just thinking about a few major choices. I'm not regretting them, as I have learnt quite a bit from what have eventuated from them. I am instead reviewing them as an pseudo-intellectual exercise, and am wondering a) whether they were real choices, b) whether they are reversible, c) whether I want to reverse them, and c) whether I chose the path I chose because it's the more difficult one.

For one in particular, I realise I know when I made the choice and flicked the switch, long long time ago. And I wonder, what happens if I want to switch it back?

ladida

Stop thinking about what you want in the future. Instead, try visualising that it is manifested in your life right now. That small change in your attitude can make all the difference when it comes to some cherished goals. - Aquarius, 22nd May 2006

My brain seems to be wired differently at the moment.

What do I want in the future? What do I want now? What do I need in the future? What do I want now?

I don't really know, and I realise, I'm not that fussed about it.

I've got an good job - I do complain about bits of it, but I'm also quite thankful.

I'm neither alone nor lonely. Not enough time and space to be either really.

I see people I like, but don't really feel any desperate need to grab them. Nor do I feel jealous when they are taken up, maybe happy for them, sometimes a tad amused, sometimes a bit worried.

I'm actually quite happy. Or at least not unhappy.

Though I guess, a backrub for my sore shoulders would always make me a tad happier. :p

Wassup

Singapore is so small. This past weekend, I've seen three telly songwriting celebs.

Manhunt was himbotic. So is Mr. Tantric. Argh.

I saw myself on a replay of a video recording. I didn't quite know I move like that - a little awkward, a little pouncey, a little light and soft. Hmm.

I haven't had much opportunity to read blogs of late. Must remedy that and stay in more often. My kidneys, my kidneys, sighz.

I think my MU of going to bars has nearly intersected with whatever it's supposed to intersect. Too early in the morning to think about microeconomics.

A friend said, unless I want someone right now/then, it may be better to observe how the someone is like first. Less anguish, less rushing around. And can learn quite a bit. True true I guess.

I think I've had enough of rushing around. But then I've said this for ages.

I've been said to be emotionally distant. Reserved and restrained, that's the way I have been and that's the way I am.

A Separate Peace

By John Knowles....

'Until now, in spite of everything, I had welcomed each new day as though it were a new life, where all past failures and problems were erased, and all future possibilities and joys open and available, to be achieved probably before night fell again. Now, in this winter of snow and crutches with Phineas, I began to know that each morning reasserted the problems of the night before, that sleep suspended all but changed nothing, that you couldn't make yourself over between dawn and dusk.'

'The winter loves me ... I mean as much as you can say a season can love. What I mean is, I love winter, and when you really love something, then it loves you back, in whatever way it has to love.'

'I did not cry then or ever about Finny. I did not cry even when I stood watching him being lowered into his family's strait-laced burial ground outside of Boston. I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case.'

Wassup?

Ok.

I've been reading Kate Fox's Watching the English. I thoroughly recommend, if only for the feeling that this book is thoroughly English in humour and disposition.

I've been responding to comments on the LSE on the MINDEF eforums.

I've been hanging out at Backstage and Mox and Tantric.

I've been following the elections results.

I've stopped reading the papers after the elections.

I want to go watch Da Vinci Code.

I don't want to go Towel Club.

I don't want to go watch Shakespeare.

I am going to the Newater Visitor Centre this morning.

I am going to read and critique on the assumptions for a business plan.

I am going to research on where I may go with my airmiles.

I am going to consider getting JoNny over with the airmiles, esp. if I can't take leave.

I'm going to curb any jealosy and take deep breaths.

I am considering getting a tanktop.

I'm excited about tonight's American Idol.

I love the dance programme 'So you think you can dance'.

I am listening to Geek In The Pink.

I am going to be late for work.

:p

Quiet

I've been quiet of late.

Been very busy lar.

More updates soon to come, I promise. :)